I Know
by annasaurus-rex
Summary: William comes out to Caroline. (Just a short one-shot to help with my LTIH withdrawal symptoms!)


William dragged his feet as he neared the house. No doubt as soon as he got home, he would want to leave again. His father had taken to sitting in front of the television drinking various alcoholic drinks in varying strengths. William had noticed that the stronger the drink, the better, because that meant his father would probably be passed out. Still, his father's presence in the house ruined everything, William thought, because he knew his mother wasn't happy. Whether it was because she was seeing someone else, or because she just hated her husband, William was unsure. Maybe that didn't even matter. He knew she deserved someone who treated her better than his father did.

He was relieved when he turned into the driveway and saw that only his mother's car was home. He didn't want to get in her way if she was working, but he had been wanting to talk to her alone for some time. He wanted to tell her about Jack. He didn't know how she would react towards the news that his best friend Jack was actually closer to him than she thought, but William had reached the stage of risking everything just to get it out there. He didn't understand why but everything anyone ever said about him getting a girlfriend made him mad, mad at the assumed sexuality that people wanted him to be without even knowing that's what they wanted. Mad at the world for not acknowledging that not everybody was perfect. In fact, nobody was perfect, and he didn't understand why his imperfections could be so much more 'wrong' than anybody else's.

He opened the front door quietly, making sure that his father truly was not sat in his usual position. He couldn't hear typing from his mother's office, so he walked into the kitchen where he heard her talking softly. He leant forwards, straining to hear a reply from whoever she was talking to. There was nothing, however, so he assumed she must be on the phone.

'See you tomorrow, love you, bye,' Caroline hung up the phone as William hovered by the door.

'Hi mum,' William said, trying to hide the confusion on his face, 'had a good day?'

'Yes thank you darling, did you? I was just talking to the school secretary, it's ever so busy what with inspections and we've got an open day and two teachers suddenly resigning and I need to find maternity cover for-'

'Mum, it's okay. I know that wasn't the school secretary-' he held up his hand as Caroline seemed to be about to interrupt, '-and that's fine. You don't need to tell me anything. I just want you to be happy.'

'Oh, William, I am sorry. Thank you, darling,' she spoke slowly and thoughtfully, lost in her own personal chaos.

'Mum, this might be a bad time, but… I wanted to tell you something.'

'Of course, of course it's not a bad time. You can always tell me anything, you know.'

William sat down on the sofa next to her, suddenly regretting this decision. He could say anything, it wasn't too late; he could tell her he'd failed a test at school – hell, he could even tell her he'd passed a test. He could tell her one of the various things he'd seen his father do when he thought nobody was looking, but he'd tried to block all that out of his mind. Anyway, there was never going to be a time that felt right for this. Once he'd said it, he could stop worrying about her reaction.

'Mum… I'm… I'm gay,' William whispered, frowning apologetically, trying to avoid eye contact with his mother.

She smiled and reached to put her arm around him. He leant into her chest and felt her hand on his head reassuringly. He wanted to speak – he wanted to apologise, to tell her he would change if he could, but he suddenly felt none of the anxiety he had felt before. He had known his mother would not stop loving him, but he'd thought that maybe she'd need a little time.

He eased himself out of her arms and looked at her face; he was horrified to see that she was crying.

'Mum, what's wrong? I'm really sorry, I just-' he stopped himself, noticing that these were not disappointed tears, nor angry, nor surprised.

'I know, darling. I know how hard it is. Believe me, I know.'

**A/N – I stopped it here because I couldn't decide how I wanted it to end! Does she tell him about herself, or does she wait, does he figure it out, do they both know – too many choices! Maybe I'll end up writing a proper ending (and also improving this, sorry – I'm ill!).**


End file.
